Trust vs. Taking

Here I am, hurting again. I keep losing my faith in people. I heard a TED talk which sited that women have more oxytocin, which causes them to trust more. To bond more. Men have more testosterone, which causes more selfishness (hey--empirical research). So there we have the great combo of trusting and taking. This is not my man bashing post. I know of men who have integrity. Interestingly enough, every one I can think of loves the Lord. God transforms us.

My art hasn't started in physical form yet. But my studio space will be vacated and ready to move into on Tuesday. Add to that my very bizarre dreams (an underwater world where the colors are magnificent, and there are gardens and animals like there are on land). Don't envy me those dreams though, because somewhere between 1am and 3am I have nightmares. Extreme failure. Broken figurines I try to put back together, but they are deformed. Last night the ceramic figure was an evil over-muscled pit bull and I was trying to mold it into a gentler dog, but the pieces wouldn't fit.

I don't know where God is taking me. I could die tomorrow. So I am trying to see each day with new eyes and new possibilities. We live in a world that tries to take us down like quick sand. They say to just relax and you'll actually float. Flail around and you sink. Hope floats...I hope.