Loud Silence

I've started painting again...pulled out an old canvas that I thought needed reworking. How can I describe what it was like to put paint to brush once more after such a long hiatus? It was like going to the gym every day for a year, then stopping for a year and returning. Urrrghhh. I don't have the same endurance or skill. There is all this knowledge in my head that won't come out through my hand!

The acid test came when I friend visited my studio. I warned him that I was not happy with my current painting. He stood in the middle of the room, and asked "Is that what you're painting." (The only piece on the easel, but I resisted any sarcasm and simply replied "Yes.") Silence. Loud, loud silence. He left the room and that was that. Okay. I can do this. Let me rephrase that--God can do this.

Lord, help me at least show up. I wanted adventure. I wanted a new life...well, here it is, with all it's road rash reality.