Nesting

Well, I actually touched my art supplies today--They were in the way of gym equipment I need to sell, which is currently residing in my studio-to-be. As I fussed with rearranging boxes, unpacking, and throwing out, it reminded me of getting ready childbirth. There was this nesting obsession that occurred immediately preceeding the "big event." Before my daughter was born I planted the entire garden (which was huge). When I had birth pangs with my youngest son, I got up at 2am and washed the floors of the whole house. Odd. Instinctual. But readiness.

Something is about to announce itself, I can feel it. So instead of condemning myself for not actually creating again, I am accepting that this is part of the process--the gestation of a painting.

Getting "Through" Instead of Getting "Past"

Sleep holds some answers when we slip into that subconscious fall. Instead of being sweet escape tonight, images, doors, even computer icons swirled in my head. I woke, chasing after their elusive tails and I believe I caught one or two of the little troublemakers. Writing my thoughts down, it dawned on me that rather getting "past" my pain so I could get "to" my art, I need to use my art to get "through." Through the grief. The pain. The confusion. The loss. All those emotions are clogging up my art pathway, and haven't artists used their art to express those very things for years? My hope is they would be ever lightening as I brush my journey, instead of ever darkening as they were for Van Gogh.

To Paint Again

I've just rediscovered my blog...Between then and now I've 1) Had 7 surgeries, 2) Been a caregiver for my mom until her death in Sept. 2010, 3) Started and almost finished divorce proceedings (after 30 years of marriage), and 4) Moved to Bend, Oregon to begin a new life. Chapter 2. Sigh. But I haven't painted---Me! The one who has always coached everyone else to paint. I can hear my teacher Harley Brown saying "Make the first stroke." I need to move a mountain of boxes out of the way to find my art materials. It's a season, and something in my heart lies dormant. Is there too much hurt in the way? I want to start...then all of a sudden sleep sounds very good. I post this to keep myself accountable. As I paint, I'll display the results. Come along for the ride.

The Beginning...

I am just trying a blog for the first time. Consider this a test. I'll post the photo I just put on the Masterpiece Christian Artists Facebook site. (I am third from the left, flanked by my awesome friends, Sandy and Cat). Here is the link if you'd like to become a fan: http://www.facebook.com/karencainsmith?v=wall&story_fbid=124334334252615#!/pages/Ashland-OR/Masterpiece-Christian-Art-Conference/299442696146?ref=ts